I Am Not Queer Coded, I Am Just A Villain

I Am Not Queer Coded, I Am Just A Villain

From Maleficent to any role Vincent Price ever played, most villains are queer coded. I have always thought that is why, many assume that I am queer in some way, but I feel as if I need to come out myself. I am not queer coded, I am just a villain. I am happy that a marginalized community can connect with me, one who lives on the margins of the king’s precious society. But I hope they can accept me for who I am; an ageless, hell-bent horror.

Quiz: Do You Want To Be Him, Sleep With Him, Or Forever Float In The Nebulous Space Between The Two?

Quiz: Do You Want To Be Him, Sleep With Him, Or Forever Float In The Nebulous Space Between The Two?

Take this quiz to find out if you’re romantically and sexually into that special someone, if you actually just want to BE them, or if you’re doomed to spend the rest of your life in a hellish cloudy gray-area in between the two options.

Incredible! This Person’s Gaydar Is Just Seeing Haircuts

Incredible! This Person’s Gaydar Is Just Seeing Haircuts

As queer fashion enters the mainstream more and more, it has become harder than ever to detect other queers in public. However, that’s not a problem for local lesbian, Laura Flemmings, whose impeccable gaydar successfully identifies any queers within eyesight using a complex assessment of haircuts.

Dolly Parton Removes Wig To Reveal Another Smaller Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton Removes Wig To Reveal Another Smaller Dolly Parton

Parton, a homosexual icon, is known for her iconic blonde beehive, but after a lifetime of bleaching, Dolly has spent recent years donning platinum wigs so high you’d think she was starring in a Bump-its infomercial. Fans were stunned when, during a return-to-the-stage New Years performance at Dollywood to promote vaccine boosters, Parton removed her wig to reveal another, smaller Dolly Parton.

Lesbian Bar Misses Being Only Bar In Town In Danger of Closing

Lesbian Bar Misses Being Only Bar In Town In Danger of Closing

Situated in an ordinary stripmall next to a Payless Shoes in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Fanny’s Hideaway is nicknamed The Only Lesbian Bar in the Desert. A sandwich chalkboard reading “Yes, we’re still open! (Cash Only)” stands outside. Inside, owner Debbie Barley, a hardy 62 year old Queens native in cargo shorts, sanitizes the bar in preparation for tonight’s event, a fundraiser to pay the rent.

Oh, You’re a Lesbian? Name Six UTI’s From The L Word

Oh, You’re a Lesbian? Name Six UTI’s From The L Word

From catching bread in the tennis locker room to slinging philly cheese puss between Dana and Alice’s strap, the UTI’s from the L Word are vast and large, cumulating from ridiculous sex, lesbian drama, and toy swapping Tuesdays. If you’re a real carpet nibbler, you’ll easily identify all six UTI’s from The L Word.

The Butts On ‘The White Lotus’ Are Unionizing! 

The Butts On ‘The White Lotus’ Are Unionizing! 

In their petition, the butts have recounted the long, hard hours they work onset, for zero pay and with no pants-break. While their human actor counterparts receive thousands per episode, they show up in every-other-frame, for free. They also cited the long history of exploited butt labor in shows like Bridgerton, Euphoria, Oz, and more. They hope to be trailblazers for other butts to come.

Public Radio Promotional Canvas Tote Bag Mostly Used for Carrying Strap On

Public Radio Promotional Canvas Tote Bag Mostly Used for Carrying Strap On

Radio stations often award donors with household items emblazoned with their logo, both as a gesture of gratitude for new and upgrading members and a source of word-of-mouth advertising. The gifts range from coffee mugs to umbrellas, but the most popular item remains the canvas tote bag.

Queer Activists: “We’re Not Here, We Are Queer, We’re Just Running Late Sorry”

Queer Activists: “We’re Not Here, We Are Queer, We’re Just Running Late Sorry”

Like many queers, Aimee believes that to be queer is inherently political. But like many queers, she is chronically late. This is a trend anthropologist Justin Gorfman has studied in recent years: “Gay people are ready to fight for what they believe in, but like in 5 minutes,” they wrote, apologizing for only responding after a third request for comment.

As Flannel Season Ends, Flannel Season is Approaching

As Flannel Season Ends, Flannel Season is Approaching

As winter begins in New York City, queers across the area are retiring their autumn layers. Alas— flannel season is ending. Stowing faithful fall flannels is a bummer, but on the bright side, winter is the perfect time to whip out a flannel. Here are a few of our favorite winter flannels to replace out-of-season flannel styles.

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Speaking Out

I Am Not Queer Coded, I Am Just A Villain

From Maleficent to any role Vincent Price ever played, most villains are queer coded. I have always thought that is why, many assume that I am queer in some way, but I feel as if I need to come out myself. I am not queer coded, I am just a villain. I am happy that a marginalized community can connect with me, one who lives on the margins of the king’s precious society. But I hope they can accept me for who I am; an ageless, hell-bent horror.

How ‘Euphoria’ Inspired Me To Dress Like A Queer Teen With Edgy Fashion Even Though I’m 27

When I was 17, every single day I wore an Old Navy boat neck tee and flared jeans. What a waste! After watching the first episode of Euphoria on HBO Max, I said, “That’s it. That’s what I want to be.” My partner, who was sitting in bed next to me, asked, “Addicted to opiates?” I said, “No! A queer teen with edgy fashion.”

Impressive! Mom Restructuring Sentence In Real Time To Avoid Your Pronouns

It’s happening again. Your mom is constructing the world’s longest, most confusing sentence to talk about you without using a ‘they’ pronoun. You’ve traveled home for the holidays, and Lisa, a lovely 60-year-old from next door, spots you and your mother on a walk. She asks how you have been and your mother launches into a proud update on your various accomplishments.

We’re Here! We’re Queer! That’s About All I Have In Common With This Grindr Hookup!

When Marlon McKee and Theo Jenkins matched on the popular dating app, Grindr, the two men had only one thought going through their minds: “Yeah, I guess.” McKee and Jenkins met last Thursday when both signed into the service in search of intimate company.

I’m Not Pansexual, I Am Pan-sexual, I’m In Love With A Half Goat Half Man

I am proud to be able to come out and say, “hello world, I am Pan-sexual. I am in love with the half-goat, half-man of Greek lore, Pan.” For years, I called myself Bisexual, but that wasn’t really it. Yes, he is both, a man and a goat, but he’s also a god… so that’s more than two things.

Awf Topics

Remembering Straight Pride Month

Straight Cisgender White Man Guaranteed Presidential Election Win

Straight Cisgender White Man Guaranteed Presidential Election Win

“We have elected many different white men to be President, but never before have we dwindled down such a diverse group of ambitious and qualified candidates down to one single straight white male candidate to face another straight white male candidate from the opposing party,” said Tom Perez, the chair of the Democratic National Committee.

Straights, Closeted For The First Time, Finally Create Great Art

Straights, Closeted For The First Time, Finally Create Great Art

Reports poured in across the country of straight people, having endured months of social isolation, abruptly producing spectacular masterworks of fine art.

Straight America Discovers Bidet

Straight America Discovers Bidet

In a movement akin to when white gays invented voguing, straight America has fallen tush-over-toes for the bidet as their go-to toilet paper alternative.

Ally Meetup Held In Space Between Two Queer People Talking

Ally Meetup Held In Space Between Two Queer People Talking

A gathering of straight allies dedicated to supporting the LGBTQ+ community recently took place between two queer people who were having a conversation. Maya Berman and Jessica Anello were reportedly chatting about oat milk at their local cafe when fifteen straights in rainbow regalia crammed between them and began their meeting.

How Straight Pride Forgot Its Radical Roots

How Straight Pride Forgot Its Radical Roots

The Straight Pride Parade, which drew several dozen participants from the comments section of a

BREAKING: These Straight Pride Marchers Are Single, Ladies!

BREAKING: These Straight Pride Marchers Are Single, Ladies!

BOSTON, MA— Shockwaves rebounded throughout the heterosexual community today when the public learned that most

Trucks!

Trucks!

VROOOM vrooom vrooom vroom VRRRROOM!!!!!!!!!

3 Outrageous Pregnancy Scares For Your Straight Pride Pre-Game

3 Outrageous Pregnancy Scares For Your Straight Pride Pre-Game

We’re straight! We’re great! And our periods are frighteningly late!  Are you glowing with straight pride,

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