In a total coincidence that has absolutely nothing to do with a co-signed apartment lease ending, Boston resident Tristan Knowles split ways with their boyfriend this week after exactly one year and two weeks of dating.
On Tuesday, Chester Parsons, a PR intern and part-time online activist, made queer history from the chaise lounge in his apartment living room, sharing a brave meme that will surely rock his cis white gay followers to their pale, toned cores.
In a movement akin to when white gays invented voguing, straight America has fallen tush-over-toes for the bidet as their go-to toilet paper alternative.
The 20-year-old says TikTok will allow him to “completely reinvent [his] online persona,” and plans to upload ample shirtless videos of himself dancing to songs by Lana Del Ray or Doja Cat. “I’m so excited to show the world the new me!”