Celebrate Straight Pride Month

Study Shows Gay Gene Can’t Be Found, Last Seen In Bathroom Asking Around For Molly

Study Shows Gay Gene Can’t Be Found, Last Seen In Bathroom Asking Around For Molly

While the study sample was exclusively circuit gays, scientists can still conclusively say they have no fucking idea where Gene went. “Gene told researchers that he loves us but his body is too warm and the music sucks. Then he just bolted,” reported team leader Calvin Tolbin. “We’ve been searching for answers. Gene’s been searching for uppers.”

Sparkling Water Comes Out As Queer

Sparkling Water Comes Out As Queer

MADISON, WI— LaCroix has always been known for having a splash of fruity flavor, but

Top 8 Lies I’ve Told to Make My Parents Seem Less Republican

Top 8 Lies I’ve Told to Make My Parents Seem Less Republican

It isn’t easy being the solo Republican-raised gay girl in my group of very cool,

A Day In Activism: My Young Gay Ass Went To Stonewall

A Day In Activism: My Young Gay Ass Went To Stonewall

Okay, have you even heard of gay rights??? This week I was exposed to something

5 Must-See World Pride Events You Probably Can’t Afford

5 Must-See World Pride Events You Probably Can’t Afford

Why waste your time figuring out what to do? Here are five gag-worthy must-see attractions that may cost you an arm, a leg, and your secret stan account.

The First Openly Gay Male US Governor Shouldn’t Matter Because He Isn’t Hot

The First Openly Gay Male US Governor Shouldn’t Matter Because He Isn’t Hot

“I get that he’s very accomplished despite being named Jared. But I wouldn’t, say, watch him smoke a cigarette like I would watch Obama.”

All Pigeons are Queer, Unionized, And Ready to Vote

All Pigeons are Queer, Unionized, And Ready to Vote

“NO ONE LIKES PIGEONS, SURE. BUT WHAT WE DO HAS BENEFITS FOR EVERYONE. THIS WILL RIPPLE OUT FOR A BETTER WORLD. EXCEPT FOR SEAGULLS. THEY SUCK.”

The Complete Ranking Of All The Gay Character In The MCU

The Complete Ranking Of All The Gay Character In The MCU

We scoured the nearly 3,000 minutes of Marvel film goodness that make up this groundbreaking endeavor for all of our favorite moments L, G, B, T, and Q+!

Marvel Announces First Gay Superhero! His Power? He’s Late To Everything!

Marvel Announces First Gay Superhero! His Power? He’s Late To Everything!

The film will follow Entrance’s journey to defeat arch-nemesis, Deadline. It is Entrance’s duty to restore Earth to a more flexible and forgiving schedule.

All-Female Book Club Unable To Choose Name Without Referencing Genitalia

All-Female Book Club Unable To Choose Name Without Referencing Genitalia

A ladies book club may usually be the front for a wine-guzzlin’ good time, but

A Tufted Banquette Speaks Out: “Stop Farting at Gay Brunch!”

A Tufted Banquette Speaks Out: “Stop Farting at Gay Brunch!”

To all the farts I’ve endured before, enough is enough! On a typical weekend, you

The Best Museums to Take An Artboy You’ll Ghost in a Month

The Best Museums to Take An Artboy You’ll Ghost in a Month

So you’ve matched with an artboy on Tinder. He’s charming, he has polaroids lining his

Couple Switches Bodies After Fight, Pissed No One Noticed

Couple Switches Bodies After Fight, Pissed No One Noticed

CHICAGO, IL—Things got freaky last Friday evening as area couple Adam Evans and Andrew Eden

Awf Topic

Conservative Billionaire David Koch Dies Watching New ‘L Word’ Trailer

Conservative Billionaire David Koch Dies Watching New ‘L Word’ Trailer

A lawyer for the family announced the 79 year old conservative lobbyist just couldn’t handle

Gag-Worthy Pride Parade Swag We Can’t Wait To See Suffocate A Sea Turtle

Gag-Worthy Pride Parade Swag We Can’t Wait To See Suffocate A Sea Turtle

It isn’t a Pride parade unless there’s glitter, confetti, and swag that will never decompose. Why have microplastics when you could have microplastiques!?

Swift’s YNTCD Music Video Linked To Massive Spike In Homophobia From Me Personally

Swift’s YNTCD Music Video Linked To Massive Spike In Homophobia From Me Personally

Following the release of Swift’s highly popular LGBT anthem, a recent nationwide poll found that a sudden rise in anti-gay sentiment specifically from your’s truly.

Vice President Biden Too Handsy Even By Gay Bar Standards

Vice President Biden Too Handsy Even By Gay Bar Standards

“I’ve experienced a lifetime of unwanted touching at gay bars,” said patron James Tulliver. “But when the former vice president walked in, this was truly no longer a safe space.”

Neat! This New Harness Hugs Me Like My Father Never Did

Neat! This New Harness Hugs Me Like My Father Never Did

“As an added bonus, the smell of the leather reminds me of his freshly polished work shoes!”

Why I Stopped Dating Assholes And Just Made Laura Dern My Lockscreen Instead

Why I Stopped Dating Assholes And Just Made Laura Dern My Lockscreen Instead

It would be a big little lie to say any other woman has done more for my sense of self worth than Laura Freaking Dern.

Ally Forces Storm Queer Beach

Ally Forces Storm Queer Beach

JACOB RIIS PARK, NY—On the first nice Saturday in June, ally forces mounted a full-scale

‘You’ve Always Come Off As Gay To Me’ Reports Melissa Out Of The Fucking Blue

‘You’ve Always Come Off As Gay To Me’ Reports Melissa Out Of The Fucking Blue

Eyewitnesses at the scene confirm the statement was preceded by Melissa just nonchalantly leaning the fuck over from her desk and smugly tapping Jarrod on his arm.

5 Hair Colors That Say ‘I Had A Crisis Last Night And CVS Was There For Me’

5 Hair Colors That Say ‘I Had A Crisis Last Night And CVS Was There For Me’

Sea Foam Dream is the perfect aqua-green shade to help ground yourself after an evening adrift in a dissociative fugue about your personal finances!

Camp Successfully Completes Conversion Therapy

Camp Successfully Completes Conversion Therapy

The camp aesthetic announced that it is clinically heterosexual after spending just one night at one of the nation’s leading institutions.