Despite the postponement of the 2020 Tokyo Olympics due to the COVID-19 pandemic, American gymnast Benji Kile is maintaining his flexibility by taking regular pics of his tight little hole.
Amazon has finally released its long awaited rival show to Netflix’s “Queer Eye” that’s just a 10 hours long video of Cher blinking. The video will include soft, lo-fi renditions of Cher’s singles spanning her entire career and the description encourages people to “Breathe in the fresh Cher.”
As the coronavirus pandemic forces people across the world to stay home, many quarantined lesbians have turned their attention toward nesting. “I think this needs more houseplants,” lesbian Cara Martin said while putting down a bed of twigs in her living room.
After reports surfaced alleging that top producers at “The Ellen Show” fostered an environment of racism, bullying, and sexual harassment, local woman Lindsay Jacobs would just like to remind everyone that her friend group is still more toxic than “The Ellen Show.”
As the U.S. continues to bungle its COVID-19 crisis, Satan, the Lord of Darkness, announced a moratorium on American souls entering Hell. “Out of an abundance of caution,” Beelzebub told reporters, “we simply cannot welcome people into eternal damnation who aren’t taking this thing seriously.”