Uh oh! You were watching another self care routine video when you saw a model rub your favorite sex toy all over her face and call it a… jade face roller?
The 20-year-old says TikTok will allow him to “completely reinvent [his] online persona,” and plans to upload ample shirtless videos of himself dancing to songs by Lana Del Ray or Doja Cat. “I’m so excited to show the world the new me!”
Step aside Britney! The alpha mama of Big Cat Rescue—and almost certain murderer of HETEROSEXUAL millionaire Don Lewis—is perfectly perched to pounce and snag the gay icon tiara for herself.
“It’s not that gay blood is it?!” gasped 50 year old Martin Rogers from his hospital bed. “Ehhhh. Fine, but only if it’s somene like Neil Patrick Harris.”
The study also confirmed the long-held theory in the scientific community that ‘ha’ is typically sarcastic, while ‘hahahahaha’ in fact implies a speaker trying to make light of existential dread.