Fresh off his success in “Schitt’s Creek,” “Happiest Season,” and his year as a darling of late night appearances and social media stardom, Dan Levy has announced that for his next project the actor plans to just shut up for a little while.
Pornhub has announced a new category to draw in new viewers to the streaming mega-site — devoted viewers can find the new category labeled “Longing Glances.” While most people wouldn’t consider two people looking at each other from afar for 30 seconds porn, Pornhub aims to change that. The site has realized that for too long, it has overlooked a key demographic, women, queers, and people who are just a little too into period pieces. The site hopes that the new category can bring these users into the world of Pornhub.
Yas Queen or Dry Clean? Not unlike the nation, local gay bar patrons found themselves utterly divided on whether Liza Minelli had made a surprise appearance, or if it was just a heaping pile of fabulous coats. Frenzied gays reportedly yelled “slay!” at the motionless coat pile for several minutes, assuming Ms. Minelli was merely holding a dramatic pose. Volvika Cran, a bartender working the infamous Liza shift, maintains Ms. Minelli was not present.
At approximately 11:23PM EDT last night, local mother Tina Rogers received a text from her youngest child, 22-year-old Rose, reading: “what time was I born?” Unbeknownst to Rogers, Rose needed the data to get a more accurate astrological birth chart in an attempt to bed a bisexual woman.
This week, one local lesbian, Winona Young, was happy to report that she had not thought about “The L Word: Generation Q” for at least ten months. According to Young, “this has been one of the hardest years of my life, but I still feel so lucky that I was able to live as if ‘The L Word’ cinematic universe was never expanded.”