WASHINGTON, D.C.— Amid the limited supply of monkeypox vaccine doses, CDC officials are taking desperate
Yas Queen or Dry Clean? Not unlike the nation, local gay bar patrons found themselves utterly divided on whether Liza Minelli had made a surprise appearance, or if it was just a heaping pile of fabulous coats. Frenzied gays reportedly yelled “slay!” at the motionless coat pile for several minutes, assuming Ms. Minelli was merely holding a dramatic pose. Volvika Cran, a bartender working the infamous Liza shift, maintains Ms. Minelli was not present.
Republican National Convention attendees dropped their robes this week for head witch in charge, J.K. Rowling, who demanded to inspect wands & chambers of secrets.
“I love working out now. I don’t mind that it’s 40 minutes away. Wonderful facility,” he said with a strained smiled to concerned friends.
“Enough with the tinsel and Santa costumes. It doesn’t offend me, but it throws off my whole groove when it pops up,” he explained loudly to strangers at a local Applebee’s.