After reports surfaced alleging that top producers at The Ellen Show fostered an environment of racism, bullying, and sexual harassment, local woman Lindsay Jacobs would just like to remind everyone that her friend group is still more toxic than The Ellen Show.
“It’s a lot of casual racism, restraining orders, and white men who leave their hands on women’s shoulders long after the picture has been taken,” Jacobs said. “But hey, that’s Nebraska for you. Well, at least my town. Or at least these ten people.”
Jacobs’ cousin, Jordan Parker, says that the friend group is almost exclusively people who are night security guards for parking garages but seem to think they’re the ruler of a small country.
“Also that one guy who graduated years ago but still hangs out around his own high school, and guys who put an American flag in a gallon bucket filled with gravel and drive around with it in the back of their truck,” Parker added.
Jacobs defended herself, pointing out that these are her childhood friends from her hometown who ultimately only want to make Americans laugh. Also, she only sees once during the holidays and maybe once during the summer at a wedding, funeral, or when she has to testify against one of them in court.
Local authorities and the group’s regular waitress at Denny’s confirmed the toxicity of Jacobs’ friend group. Wow!