Incoming! Another Text From Cis Friend Who Read ‘Detransition, Baby’ And Just Wants To Tell You That!

Brrrriing! What’s that? Another smiley-emoji-filled text from a distant cishet friend who read Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters. Your freshman year dorm-mate Kelly Konley has been proudly and publicly reading the book on the train for weeks now, and finally finished it! In honor of the occasion, she decided to text you, a trans person, who she hasn’t talked to in years. You have not read the book, but Kelly wants you to know that she? Has!

Studio Wins Bidding War For Rights To Ossoff/Buttigieg Porn Parody

Porn studio Men.com announced that it had won the competitive bidding war for a multi-picture deal to create a series of porn parodies based on Senator Ossoff from Georgia and President Biden’s new Secretary of Transportation.

The three picture deal will trace the exploits of the pair through their sexual exploits in Washington D.C. Sources close to the deal say that this could also lay the groundwork for a Neo-Liberal Pornographic Universe.

High School English Teacher Not Going Anywhere Near The Gay Stuff In Gatsby

Sources report that AP English teacher Annie Branch has really been laying into all the Christ-like imagery in “The Great Gatsby” while conveniently staying far, far away from all that gay stuff.

“Nick doesn’t like Jordan because she’s shallow,” lectured Ms. Branch, not going anywhere near the idea that Nick doesn’t like Jordan because he likes Gatsby. “Simple as that.”

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