Between whisking, baking, and gas-lighting the nation, how does a modern woman find the time?
“Look, I get it. I’m an irrelevant cis white dad,” O’Rourke told reporters. “Which is why I want America to know that I am also a proud lesbian, and I’m ready to lead America.”
DeGeneres and the freshly dug up remains of Justice Scalia were spotted this past National Coming Out Day laughing it up and decomposing, respectively. “On this day in particular, it feels liberating to finally show the world who I really am!” The former comedian defended her proximity to the bigoted, rotting corpse. “We should be kind to everyone, even the corpses of those who sought to codify queer oppression!”
Of course, condom use would have been the best prevention.
A lawyer for the family announced the 79 year old conservative lobbyist just couldn’t handle