‘NO TAPS’ Yells Gay Man At Soldier’s Funeral

ARLINGTON, VA— During a wreath-laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery, local gay man Stuart Benson proclaimed his dismay at the use of a traditional bugle call by yelling “No Taps” from inside the crowd of onlookers.

 

“I don’t respond to Taps. If you want to get a response out of me, play the Star-Spangled Banner like a real American,” Benson added during the Changing of the Guard.

 

The ceremonial bugle call is a well known means to honor service men and women with a serious, authentic live performance. Benson took the opportunity to pass out a long list of rules including PLEASE READ, looking for funeral fun, no flakes, have face pics, no cops, and finally a pig emoji. 

 

Funeral attendees were confused by Benson’s outburst during the haunting, but distinctive American melody that moves many to tears. However, everyone calmly moved on to the ceremonial wreath laying after Benson screamed “NO COUPLES!” and demanding “please be around my age!”

 

As the ceremony wrapped up, Benson made one final plea of “follow me on Instagram because I’m rarely here” before being banned for violating the cemetery’s behavioral guidelines.

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