James Charles Still Out Here Being This Way

After years of scandals and getting canceled, Internet personality James Charles is still out here… being this way. Many speculated that after making hateful comments about Africa in 2017, trans men in 2019, and saying the n-word online in 2020, Charles would cease being the way that he tends to be, but actually… nope.


A team of researchers at Cornell University received a $30,000 government grant to figure out the science of it all. “Charles has made 10,000+ hours worth of videos, many of them vague apologies,” Dr. Angela Donehugh remarked. “It seems that Malcolm Gladwell was correct, after that many hours, you become a master of your craft–Charles has become an expert in the art of relentlessly and vigorously continuing to be… the way that he is.”  


“At this point it’s like…” said YouTuber Shane Dawson, “and that’s coming from me.” 


“It’s like, yeah, you’re gay. But also you need to stop,” added Sylvia Rivera from her otherwise peaceful afterlife.


While the Cornell scientists have yet to figure out how Charles has continued to do what he does in the way that he does it, they have made some other fascinating discoveries. For example, James Charles has set the World Record for most people seeing a video and going “Jesus Christ.” He has also tied with Tomi Lahren for the World Record for most people seeing that a video has been posted and going “This oughta be good.”


The Cornell research team will be receiving an additional $20,000 to study the lasting effects of Charles’ 2019 feud with YouTuber Tati Westbrook. They have explained that it will be particularly difficult research, as Westbrook is virtually unreachable now that she lives in a bunker to hide from James Charles’s twink army.


Nevertheless, the scientists are determined to keep studying, as Charles’s antics have had—and will no doubt continue to have—lasting effects on the nation.

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