Awf Magazine

The Straight Pride Parade, which drew several dozen participants from the comments section of a YouTube video, kicked off at around noon yesterday in Boston, the straightest city in the Christian world. However, some marchers were distressed to see floats handing out clipped coupons for Hobby Lobby, Bass Pro Shops, Applebee’s and Sheetz.

“We have been committed for four long months to creating spaces for people to embrace the vibrancy of the straight community,” said one very angry man in the street. “Real change won’t come from these corporate interests! We must return to our roots, yard signs and angry looks!”