It’s quarantine, y’all. So many of us are trapped inside and doing a lot of looking out the window for entertainment, but queer women have always seemed to add a signature move when it comes to gazing out of that sweet, shiny glass: yearning. It could be for a lover of the past that you never got to caress, a lover of the present that you might never get to caress again, or a future lover that you might never get to caress at all. Here are 5 windows (and a few bonuses) that are decidedly the best for gazing out of and yearning:
1. The foggy window of the 6:50 Manhattan-bound train from a divorcee’s mansion in New Jersey.
A train is a great place to yearn because you don’t have to worry about driving and yearning at the same time, and it’s often dark enough that maybe no one will see your tears. The melancholy nature of a New York City train is unparalleled. Did you just get tossed out of a middle aged woman’s home after she sensually caressed your back while you were playing the piano just because her soon to be ex-husband showed up?! You need a foggy train window, and STAT! Let the yearning commence!
2. The wind rattled, single paned glass window of an eighteenth century French castle by the sea.
A French castle, in general, is always a great place to yearn because of it’s many echo-y halls and dramatic fireplaces. But when you’re afraid your lover might jump off a cliff, a window can be a useful tool to keep an eye on her while she does her daily yearn out in the grass. Plus, if you just happened to be trying to paint her portrait but can’t let her find out, a window can be a practical way to study her if she has decided to run along the shore while you’re chilling inside.
3. The window of a Jewish bakery whilst your lover yearns out the kitchen window of her Hasidic home
Small bakeries with outward facing stools are practically begging for you to gaze outside yearn for your past lover, and when your religion puts a heavy damper on gay stuff and a heavy emphasis on being domestic AF, a kitchen window can be a great place to just turn on the sink to drown out the sound of your own thoughts, not wash a single dish, and just gaze out your window thinking about Rachel Weisz.
4. The rain covered window of a 1956 Chevy convertible parked by the edge of Lake Tahoe at twilight
Car windows are a classic and popular choice for queer yearning: perhaps it’s because transportation is a metaphor for leaving your old ways, or perhaps it’s because lesbians love fixing cars. When you’re a divorced English professor literally just trying to vibe in Reno but you got accidentally seduced by a lady sculptor and now she drove you out of town just to “see” Lake Tahoe at sunset… well, you know what you’re gonna have to do: take a quick moment to gaze out of the rainy car window and think about every choice you’d ever made leading up to this sensual moment.
5. The window of your office at your nondescript publishing job as your lover yearns out of her flower shop
Ugh, we’ve all been there. You’re marrying a super nice guy, but you end up falling for the hot florist you hired who wears low-rise jeans and chunky belts exclusively. You can’t yearn out of your windows at home– your husband might see! Luckily, there’s a great alternative: the shaded window at your office that looks like it’s straight out of an ad for Latuda®, that drug that treats bipolar depression. And, bonus, your florist girl is yearning too! She’s got her hands in her pockets (because she’s gay) gayzing out of her flower shop thinking about all the homewrecking she’s about to do.
Being a queer woman is about so much more than just loving women, it’s also about yearning for their gentle touch through the pane of a closed, foggy window. Sometimes, it feels like straight people are having all the fun: requited love, happy endings, the general lack of wistful longing… but, little do they know, they’re missing the most exciting part of windows: getting to gaze out of them and yearn.
