Jared Jones opened Twitter at approximately 2:30PM this afternoon and was excited to see #Asians was trending. Unfortunately, due to his Pavlovian response to the mention of anything Asian, Jared was already engorged before he saw that the trending topic was due to Anti-Asian violence.
Despite the bisexual community’s increasing acceptance into the LGBTQ+ populace, sources have confirmed that – God fucking damnit – the Tarnoczian dictator Oswyn Romahai has come out as bisexual this week.
At every Lunar New Year dinner, Mrs. Wong asks everyone at the table, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Like millions of celebrations across the world where adult children are involved, Mrs. Wong’s kids have to endure this question, which has no correct answer.
Look, let me cut to the chase – I know you have a big heavy boner for me. I’m not shaming you for that, in fact, I find it heartwarming that you crave after my penis the way you used to crave that rectangle pizza we ate every Friday in the cafeteria.
In America, millions of cis-hets tune in to watch The Bachelor each week. According to a recent study conducted by Nielsen, it turns out that one trans person does as well. Nielsen has identified this trans person to be Logan Handler, a trans masculine 26 year old who has been tuning into the franchise since the Spring of 2017.