Republican National Convention attendees dropped their robes this week for head witch in charge, J.K. Rowling, who demanded to inspect wands & chambers of secrets.
“We’ve been waiting to pounce on this better name for decades!” said Mitch McConnell, the KY&PP senator who is up for reelection this November.
DeGeneres and the freshly dug up remains of Justice Scalia were spotted this past National Coming Out Day laughing it up and decomposing, respectively. “On this day in particular, it feels liberating to finally show the world who I really am!” The former comedian defended her proximity to the bigoted, rotting corpse. “We should be kind to everyone, even the corpses of those who sought to codify queer oppression!”
It isn’t easy being the solo Republican-raised gay girl in my group of very cool,