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Tag: Quarantine

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5 Recipes You Already Know Because You’re Gay
  • May 25, 2020September 11, 2020
  • Kate Sisk

5 Recipes You Already Know Because You’re Gay

Straights might be googling “how to cook chicken” for the first time in their lives, but here are a few next-level meals already in your gay wheelhouse.

Heartbreaking: Quarantine Reveals Bon Appetit Test Kitchen Cast Mostly Heterosexual
  • May 23, 2020September 11, 2020
  • Matt Grote

Heartbreaking: Quarantine Reveals Bon Appetit Test Kitchen Cast Mostly Heterosexual

The rotating cast of the popular YouTube channel have spent the quarantine opening their homes and, sadly, providing declarative answers to their sexuality. “I felt so sure,” said one fan, “But…Chris Morocco has kids? Does that mean I have kids? I don’t know who I am.”

Senior Laments Graduation Just Won’t Be The Same Without Burning Bridges In Person
  • May 22, 2020September 11, 2020
  • Kate Sisk

Senior Laments Graduation Just Won’t Be The Same Without Burning Bridges In Person

Graduating senior Pearl Winslow is looking forward to her Ezra Mountain High School Zoom commencement, but says it won’t be the same without the chance to burn some bridges on the way out.

This Incredible Sourdough Recipe Is Almost As Good As Eating Pussy
  • May 20, 2020September 11, 2020
  • Loie Plautz

This Incredible Sourdough Recipe Is Almost As Good As Eating Pussy

This sourdough is warm, tangy, and a little crusty! It’s a fine stand-in for cunnilingus given the current circumstances!

Sen. Lindsey Graham: ‘Virtual Pride Was Sent By God To Punish Gays’
  • May 18, 2020September 11, 2020
  • Rachel Garbus

Sen. Lindsey Graham: ‘Virtual Pride Was Sent By God To Punish Gays’

In a press conference yesterday, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham shared a striking revelation: “God visited me in a dream and told me that as punishment for the homosexuals’ sins, He will torture them mercilessly with virtual Pride celebrations held over Zoom throughout the entire summer.”

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