CHICAGO, IL— In homosexual relationships there is always the risk of wearing the same thing as your partner, so it came as no shock when Brian Green and Drew Matthews both arrived at their first date wearing the same top, the same jeans, and the same modulation of their voice – two octaves lower than normal.
This morning, Taylor Swift announced that she will be releasing a re-recorded version of her famous 2014 kiss with Karlie Kloss. This announcement came shortly after a Good Morning America segment where she discussed re-recording and releasing tracks from her album “Fearless”.
In a season of tragedy comes another disaster: Robert Wilson’s brother Lyle, a heterosexual, is hotter than his gay brother. Robert, a single, mid-twenties programmer who really wants to find someone he can be dedicated to began posting videos from his parents’ home during quarantine. The saccharine content included family breakfasts, “costume competitions”, and the perpetually shirtless Lyle, who flexes literally every time he notices the camera on him.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT— Local lesbian couple Vanessa Cooper and Brie Alexander announced this Sunday
Jared Jones opened Twitter at approximately 2:30PM this afternoon and was excited to see #Asians was trending. Unfortunately, due to his Pavlovian response to the mention of anything Asian, Jared was already engorged before he saw that the trending topic was due to Anti-Asian violence.