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Nation’s Bottoms Brace For Gradual Reopening
  • July 9, 2020July 9, 2020
  • Siyu Song

Nation’s Bottoms Brace For Gradual Reopening

After the sudden, months-long tightening that bottoms experienced this spring, they are cautiously preparing to begin multi-phase reopening plans.

Asian Parents Celebrate Pride By Only Being Ashamed Gay Son Isn’t A Doctor
  • June 26, 2020June 26, 2020
  • Siyu Song

Asian Parents Celebrate Pride By Only Being Ashamed Gay Son Isn’t A Doctor

Kevin’s mom also belabored how her neighbor’s bisexual son, Alex, recently got into UCLA Medical School for Otolaryngology.

State Of Kentucky To Add ‘And Providence Plantations’ To Official Name
  • June 25, 2020June 25, 2020
  • Griffin Leeds

State Of Kentucky To Add ‘And Providence Plantations’ To Official Name

“We’ve been waiting to pounce on this better name for decades!” said Mitch McConnell, the KY&PP senator who is up for reelection this November.

Straights, Closeted For The First Time, Finally Create Great Art
  • June 23, 2020June 23, 2020
  • Anthony Schepis

Straights, Closeted For The First Time, Finally Create Great Art

Reports poured in across the country of straight people, having endured months of social isolation, abruptly producing spectacular masterworks of fine art.

Thanks To Quarantine, Dad Finally Finds Time To Accept Gay Son
  • June 18, 2020June 18, 2020
  • Denzel Belin

Thanks To Quarantine, Dad Finally Finds Time To Accept Gay Son

“At our wedding he kept asking why two grown men were having a bar mitzvah,” said McConnor’s husband of one year. “Neither of us are Jewish. Or 13.”

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