Republican National Convention attendees dropped their robes this week for head witch in charge, J.K. Rowling, who demanded to inspect wands & chambers of secrets.
This special report comes courtesy of eye witness, Anthony Petcowsky, who has been waiting with bated breath for them to realize their arguments are both similar and also dumb.
“We’re not one of those companies that shows up to take your money during Pride,” explained Bill S. Pliss, TD Bank president, at the launch of the pink dollars. “Here at TD Bank, we want LBGTQ+ money not just during Pride, but all year long.”
While many feel remote learning is the safest option during the pandemic, experts say this could cause drastic developmental losses for younger children. Even a few more months at home could lead to decreased language development, stunted emotional skills, and for gay kids, self-acceptance.
As the coronavirus pandemic forces people across the world to stay home, many quarantined lesbians have turned their attention toward nesting. “I think this needs more houseplants,” lesbian Cara Martin said while putting down a bed of twigs in her living room.