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If We Get Rid Of The Cops, Who Is Going To Do Nothing About My Stalker?
  • August 30, 2020August 30, 2020
  • Rosa Escandón

If We Get Rid Of The Cops, Who Is Going To Do Nothing About My Stalker?

There has been a lot of talk this year about abolishing the police. But if we defund the police, what happens when you really need them most?

After A Contentious Race, America Crowns Its Loudest Gay: This Goose In A Tiny Wig
  • August 29, 2020August 29, 2020
  • Matt Grote

After A Contentious Race, America Crowns Its Loudest Gay: This Goose In A Tiny Wig

Hosted by Dan Savage, “SQ-AWK” set to find the loudest voice in the room, looking for someone with DICK: Deafness, Ignorance, Condescension, and Kindless.

Huge Get! RNC Bathrooms Personally Policed By J.K. Rowling
  • August 28, 2020September 14, 2020
  • Anthony D'Almeida

Huge Get! RNC Bathrooms Personally Policed By J.K. Rowling

Republican National Convention attendees dropped their robes this week for head witch in charge, J.K. Rowling, who demanded to inspect wands & chambers of secrets.

All The Macramé I’ve Made While I Wasn’t Getting Fucked During The Pandemic
  • August 27, 2020August 28, 2020
  • Spencer Meade

All The Macramé I’ve Made While I Wasn’t Getting Fucked During The Pandemic

Weaving macramé has kept me distracted from the fact that, like a good citizen who cares about the well-being of others, I haven’t been fucked in six months.

Gays Enter 2nd Hour Of Arguing Same Thing Two Separate Ways
  • August 26, 2020August 26, 2020
  • Jess Brontide

Gays Enter 2nd Hour Of Arguing Same Thing Two Separate Ways

This special report comes courtesy of eye witness, Anthony Petcowsky, who has been waiting with bated breath for them to realize their arguments are both similar and also dumb.

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