“I really wanted to see that 11 year old girl skate,” said Marley Motton. “I don’t know how to skate, but I dress like an 11 year old skateboarder, and it would’ve been so meaningful to see someone who looks like me compete at the Olympic Games.”
As of 9 AM Wednesday, April 1st, The Awf Union obtained recognition from Awf Magazine management, securing its one and only demand of compensation in the form of a poppers stipend. Management was relieved the staff was too busy depriving their neurons of oxygen to ask for more practical benefits like dental or money saying, “Unions bring out the best in writers rooms and this agreement enables Awf Magazine to deliver the queerest writing on the Internet with the fewest number of brain cells.”
The sentencing of Harvey Weinstein is a watershed moment for men to not be held accountable as Kevin Spacey is not scheduled to serve any jail time. Also Louis C.K. sold out 3 more shows while you were reading this.
“I am such a big fan of Kristen, and she’s always supported my work,” reports the Infinity Symbol, “So I felt it was finally time to repay her and get my very own tattoo of the starlet on my inner ring.”
Lady Gaga clinched the all important ‘will support anything gay’ vote this Super Tuesday. She easily filled the gaping hole left by Pete Buttigieg’s sudden exit with her new platform of dancing in neon jumpsuits in the desert.