BALTIMORE, MD— At a recent “Ghouls, Gays & Zom-BAEs” Halloween party, local gay man Todd Fredricks bravely announced that his costume wasn’t “camp,” it was just ugly.
“I have no idea what that is,” Fredricks said when asked how he came up with such a camp costume. “I’m not dressed as someone who goes camping.”
Fredricks was reportedly dressed as the concept of a 3D movie, claiming they were his favorite type of film. Fredricks was planning on paying homage to his favorite movies “Amityville 3-D,” “Muppet Vision 3D,” and “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.”
The costume was allegedly uncomfortably smooth, covered in red and blue, full of protruding objects with unfocused shapes of movie characters. The costume was allegedly topped with a pair of red-and-blue 3D glasses and a popcorn-bucket hat.
“I looked at it and I almost immediately started gagging,” Cameron Peters, an attendee of the Halloween party said. “Then I realized it was camp, and I was in love! But he said he’d never even heard of Susan Sontag and I immediately threw up.”
Fredricks went on to display a shocking lack of knowledge of John Waters, the movie “Showgirls” or Tiffany lamps. Several members of the crowd attempted to teach Fredricks what camp is, but no consensus could be reached on a definition.
“I think camp is like a dog in socks and a sweater, but my friend Alan said that I’m just a gay idiot who’s never read ‘Notes on Camp,’” Scott Coleman said. “Which is wild because he asked if he could borrow my copy when he was tweeting during the 2019 Met Gala.”
At press time, Fredericks had left the party due to upsetting the patrons and causing several accidents amongst the waitstaff. He said that next Halloween he plans to dress as his favorite musical artist, Elton John.
