Report: Loaf of Challah Looks Like Vagina

NEW YORK, NY— Historians at Columbia University confirmed Tuesday what appears to be the world’s first case of a loaf of challah that closely resembles a human vagina. 


“It’s really something,” said lead historian at the Center for Jewish Studies Rebecca Abramovich.“This is the first case we have ever seen of a true, authentic challah vagina.”


Abramovich said that her and a team of historians first ruled out everything else the loaf of challah could possibly look like. “From the side, it kind of looks like a profile of Natalie Portman, but from the front there’s no mistaking that this is a true challah hooha,” she said. 


The challah was brought to the attention of the Center and Abramovich by local woman Dorothy Prescott, who was baking challah for the first time after finding out through 23AndMe that her great grand-father was Jewish.


“I really wanted to reconnect to my faith,” said Prescott. “But things have been pretty barren down there. Maybe I was projecting a little.”


Abramovich said the Center is sent loaves of challah from all over the world that people claim bears a close resemblance to something or someone. “We get loaves of challah from people claiming it looks like Danny Devito, Jesus, or sometimes even Sarah Jessica Parker.”


“We always ask ourselves, what makes this challah different from all other challah?” Added Abramovich. “If this one had raisins for eyes, it actually might look a little like Albert Einstein.”


At press time, researcher Brad Calhoun was still searching for the challah clitoris.

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