The public pressed Disney for queer representation and Disney has answered: “Love, Victor” star Michael Cimino confirms this season will feature a hardcore romantic fistfuck scene. Fans can expect to see Victor stretch himself physically and emotionally for his lover Benji in response to cries for a more authentic queer experience for fans.
In a season of tragedy comes another disaster: Robert Wilson’s brother Lyle, a heterosexual, is hotter than his gay brother. Robert, a single, mid-twenties programmer who really wants to find someone he can be dedicated to began posting videos from his parents’ home during quarantine. The saccharine content included family breakfasts, “costume competitions”, and the perpetually shirtless Lyle, who flexes literally every time he notices the camera on him.
It seemed like vacation would never end for Tom and Thom. Whether they were taking their 1.3 million followers to Cabo where their abs were out or to Puerto Vallarta where the golden sunsets highlighted their abs, the Instagay love birds kept followers posted on their “love collab.” But the abs have abdicated: after not posting for over 24 hours, the couple announced that @TTandTiddies was splitting up, leaving a tortuous custody battle over their account.
“The thing is, 25 is a really big number,” explains Hank Gorman. Gorman’s advent calendar Oops! All Santa features risque, theoretically artistic nude photographs that are meant to be torn away once per day through December–but consumers were hardly a week in before they noticed the project getting…avant garde.
After a record breaking election, a record breaking recount. And in a replay of the election, the recount is dragging its feet as well. Last time, a cocktail of mail-in ballots and legal interference were to blame, but this time: gays trying to do math.