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Scientists Confirm ‘Haha’ Hornier Than ‘Hahaha’
  • April 4, 2020April 13, 2020
  • Matt Grote

Scientists Confirm ‘Haha’ Hornier Than ‘Hahaha’

The study also confirmed the long-held theory in the scientific community that ‘ha’ is typically sarcastic, while ‘hahahahaha’ in fact implies a speaker trying to make light of existential dread.

Boy Scouts Of America Files For Moral Bankruptcy
  • February 20, 2020February 20, 2020
  • Matt Grote

Boy Scouts Of America Files For Moral Bankruptcy

The filing grants clemency to moral debts, so that the organization can continue to represent American ideals. “The Scouts will auction its remaining moral assets to cover its moral debts,” said BSA President and CEO Roger C. Mosby. “We’re gonna be walking a lot of old ladies across the street for this one.”

5 Life-Changing, Must-Read Queer Novels If We Count Subtext
  • February 15, 2020
  • Matt Grote

5 Life-Changing, Must-Read Queer Novels If We Count Subtext

Boo Radley: a muscular shut in? We’ll count it! To Kill A Mockingbird is here, it’s queer, and—oh sweet god, we need to come up with four more of these!?

Old White Men, Stop Punishing Society And Punish Me, Your Son’s Best Friend
  • January 6, 2020June 3, 2020
  • Matt Grote

Old White Men, Stop Punishing Society And Punish Me, Your Son’s Best Friend

You deny clear scientific evidence of climate change. Why choke society with poor air quality when you’ve got two hands and I’ve got one throat?

Ghost Of Christmas Present: Unfortunate Hometown Grindr Hookup Married Now
  • December 24, 2019December 25, 2019
  • Matt Grote

Ghost Of Christmas Present: Unfortunate Hometown Grindr Hookup Married Now

Kyle was happy to hear Jason was doing well. “I rejected him because of his haircut,” Kyle reminisced. “And he’s happy now and that’s great, and it’s not my fault that I don’t have a boyfriend.”

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