NEW YORK, NY— Chez Chic, an upscale French restaurant in the West Village, is offering a one-of-a-kind deal for polycules this Valentine’s Day. Only relationships consisting of three or more lovers can partake of traditional French cuisine, prix fixe and all-you-can-eat.
“Whether you’re in a ménage a trois, a ménage a quatre, or a ménage a huit–as long as you can all fit into a booth, laps are fine, then bienvenue,” said Chez Chic’s Michelin star chef, Rich Marchand. “Our philosophy here at Chez Chic is simple: every person, no matter who or how they love, is an opportunity to make money.”
Other notable promos at Chez Chic have included the annual “Storm-the-Bastille Day” first-come-first-serve special and a free “Notre-Dame Fire peach flambé” with proof of purchase following the French tragedy in 2019.
For diners on the fourteenth of February, proof of relationship authenticity will be taken in the form of a 3- (or more) way French kiss at the door lasting at least fifteen seconds while Chef Marchand stands by with a camcorder, “for tax records or…quelque chose, je ne sais quoi,” he explains with a little shrug. “Don’t worry about it.”
Chef Marchand’s team has already begun curating the perfect ambiance for the special day. Pink and red crepe cutout paper people chains drape endlessly from the wooden beams of the simple French country-style interior. A signed, framed photo of Tessa Thompson, Taika Waititi, and Rita Ora getting cozy on a balcony features prominently in the center of a decorative recess that calls to mind a shrine with pink and red votive candles clustered along the bottom ledge of the stone feature. Rick James’ “1, 2, 3 (You, Her, and Me)” blares through the speaker system on an endless loop as bisexual lighting drenches every surface.
Valentine’s Day staples such as oysters, beef Wellington, and pate de foie gras will be available under the buffet heat lamps all day long. Through an exclusive partnership with Moet et Chandon, diners also receive boxed champagne straight from the North of France. So far, there is only one reservation on the books, but the seating is almost completely full for that hour.
“I haven’t seen anyone else do anything like this, but when I see an untouched market, I have to tap it,” the check said winking. “That is, as they say, what they said.”
It’s clear that Chef Marchand considers himself to be something of a trailblazer. It seems that for the polyamorous, Chez Chic truly is the place to be this Valentine’s Day. In Chef Marchand’s own words, “D’ailleurs, what could be more French than polyamory? Vive la sexual revolution! We take AmEx, by the way.”
