Glenn Howard, the only queer in an otherwise straight office received a DVD copy of “Milk” for Secret Santa again this year, making it his twelfth consecutive copy since the film premiered twelve years ago. Despite his lack of interest in the film, Howard’s straight co-workers have decided one by one that “Milk” is a film he will probably enjoy because it’s about gay people.
“The thing is, 25 is a really big number,” explains Hank Gorman. Gorman’s advent calendar Oops! All Santa features risque, theoretically artistic nude photographs that are meant to be torn away once per day through December–but consumers were hardly a week in before they noticed the project getting…avant garde.
BETHLEHEM— A researcher at the Vatican Library has discovered a lost text written by God
Alex Colman, a current resident of Astoria, NY and hillbilly by descent, reminisces: “I’m really going to miss having my mom’s mechanic spit in my mouth by the dumpster behind the bank this Christmas.” It had become one of Colman’s favorite holiday traditions–right up there with Grandma’s pumpkin rolls.
As dawn broke on Thursday morning, Amelia Buckley’s ass got railed by a Tinder match. And for eight miraculous nights afterward, her hole burned. “My partner had just broken up with me,” explained the still aching 24-year-old. “It was a total rebound. We got back to her place and… let’s just say we rededicated the temple.”