To make matters worse, remaining in the closet leaves the door open to depression, low self esteem, and potentially becoming a beloved Republican Senator for multiple terms in the United States Senate. Indeed, it seems impossible for any openly gay person to win in South Carolina, a fact not lost on Adam Miller, a newly gay 18 year old resident of Greenville.
In a press conference yesterday, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham shared a striking revelation: “God visited me in a dream and told me that as punishment for the homosexuals’ sins, He will torture them mercilessly with virtual Pride celebrations held over Zoom throughout the entire summer.”