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Lesbians In Focus Group Struggle To Comprehend Orgasm Gap, Invent New Type Of Orgasm Instead
  • April 16, 2020May 17, 2020
  • Rachel Clayton

Lesbians In Focus Group Struggle To Comprehend Orgasm Gap, Invent New Type Of Orgasm Instead

A team of John Hopkins medical researchers brought in a group of lesbians to discuss the orgasm gap—the phenomenon of heterosexual men orgasming 95% of the time compared to heterosexual women’s 65%. However, the participants not only failed to understand the concept, but kept getting distracted by their own climaxing.

Subway To Officially Round Up All Sandwiches To 7 Inches
  • April 6, 2020April 7, 2020
  • Brian Faas

Subway To Officially Round Up All Sandwiches To 7 Inches

Subway is officially rounding up their classic six-inch sub to a whopping seven inches. “Everyone says it’s about seven anyway,” a spokesperson said.

Wow! None Of These Friends Have Slept With Each Other
  • March 16, 2020April 13, 2020
  • Rusty Epstein

Wow! None Of These Friends Have Slept With Each Other

Get ready to be jealous! You’ve heard of friend groups getting matching tattoos or going bungee jumping together, but this gang of pals is taking things to the next level. None of them have ever slept with each other!

Warren Releases Final Big Plan To Help Navigate Your Open Relationship
  • March 6, 2020March 7, 2020
  • Ryan Leach

Warren Releases Final Big Plan To Help Navigate Your Open Relationship

BOSTON, MA— During her campaign, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren garnered renown for her detailed plans

Pete Buttigieg Threw The First Brick At An Innocent Afghan Civilian
  • March 2, 2020March 2, 2020
  • Archie Cunningham

Pete Buttigieg Threw The First Brick At An Innocent Afghan Civilian

He may have dropped out of the Democratic primary race, but we stan a trailblazer! Move aside, Marsha P. Johnson! Our maybe-next-time future gay president’s contributions to his global community includes taking a stand against the Man—the Man being a father of three who didn’t want any part of the war.

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