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REPORT: Americans Feel Buttigieg Someone They Could Grab A Vodka Soda With
  • February 3, 2020February 3, 2020
  • Anthony Schepis

REPORT: Americans Feel Buttigieg Someone They Could Grab A Vodka Soda With

Americans see openly gay Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg as someone they could sit down and grab a frosty vodka soda with. “He’s seems approachable,” said one survey participant. “I just get the vibe he’s not a beer drinker… if you know what I mean.”

Drag Queen Sees Her Own Five O’Clock Shadow, Forecasting 6 More Weeks Of Winter
  • February 2, 2020February 2, 2020
  • Griffin Leeds

Drag Queen Sees Her Own Five O’Clock Shadow, Forecasting 6 More Weeks Of Winter

Phucks-A-Ton E. Phyllis emerged shortly after sunrise only to immediately catch a glimpse of her morning-after shadow, causing her to flee back into the security of her K-hole.

This Queer Fantasy Football League Is Just The 49ers Lesbian Assistant Coach And No Players
  • February 1, 2020December 18, 2021
  • Air Durnell

This Queer Fantasy Football League Is Just The 49ers Lesbian Assistant Coach And No Players

After seeing the amazing new representation in the NFL, this queer fantasy football league has forgone the need for any actual players when they realized Katie Sowers would be there. Who needs a whole team of straight male athletes when you can have one lesbian with a sick undercut?

33-Year-Old Man Really Sad About Princess Diana Today
  • January 31, 2020January 31, 2020
  • JP Gurnett

33-Year-Old Man Really Sad About Princess Diana Today

While staring at the sunset before the rain set in, Kyle Booth, 33, asked Siri an important question, “For how long has the world been without Princess Diana?”

5 Bottom Positions That Won’t Make Your Dad Cry
  • January 29, 2020January 31, 2020
  • Ben Leary

5 Bottom Positions That Won’t Make Your Dad Cry

A foolproof guide of father-friendly poses to remind your dad that, yes you take dick, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk about the weather together

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