Ravers have been hit especially hard by the pandemic, with almost no opportunities for dancing-that-becomes-sex-and-then-just-a-messy-hug in well over a year. But circuit parties also have reputations as toxic nightmare-discos, where molly-addled white gays on steroids blindly writhe in a swamp of body dysmorphia and santal 33. And it’s exactly that vibe organizers are hoping to replicate in this post-Covid world!
With less than two weeks to election day, protests continue to rattle the country and theater gays, just like the young artists in the punk rock musical Rent, are promising to fight systemic racism for a symbolic Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes (One Year).
As the U.S. continues to bungle its COVID-19 crisis, Satan, the Lord of Darkness, announced a moratorium on American souls entering Hell. “Out of an abundance of caution,” Beelzebub told reporters, “we simply cannot welcome people into eternal damnation who aren’t taking this thing seriously.”
Reports poured in across the country of straight people, having endured months of social isolation, abruptly producing spectacular masterworks of fine art.
Citing that “enough was enough,” Matt Steiner told his roommate that he absolutely needed quarantine to end soon so he could get back to starving himself for the approval of his sexual partners.