Perhaps like me, you started the pandemic with goals: write a novel, learn a new language, or at least work out everyday. And now more than a year later, you’ve achieved none of these goals. If you are disappointed in yourself for wasting time, you shouldn’t be. You are not wasting time. Instead, what you are going through is wasting time’s fabulous gay cousin: languishing.
At every Lunar New Year dinner, Mrs. Wong asks everyone at the table, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Like millions of celebrations across the world where adult children are involved, Mrs. Wong’s kids have to endure this question, which has no correct answer.
At precisely 10 o’clock, she calls for rehearsal to start. She’s so assertive. We start blocking and Alex selflessly takes notes for everyone. She pays such careful attention to where each of us goes.
I wonder what that attention would feel like if it was on me during a date, or when she meets my parents, or when we live together in a cottage in upstate New York, with two dogs and a goat.