Awf Magazine

The rotating cast of the popular YouTube channel have spent the quarantine opening their homes and, sadly, providing definitive answers to their sexuality. “I felt so sure,” said longtime fan Ben Scaffold, “But…Chris Morocco has kids? Does that mean I have kids? I don’t know who I am.”   

Jan Curry, lesbian, has had time to fall out of love with Claire Saffitz—whose engagement has been known for awhile. But she wasn’t prepared to learn that Saffitz has two adorable little kitties: “It took months to stop daydreaming about raising a cat together–we had named her Half-Sour. Now I find out she has two? So much therapy, down the drain.”

“In a way I was queer-baiting myself,” said Penelope Crumb, a second lesbian. The cast has never been misleading about their lives, but the topic infrequently comes up in their content. “The channel is about the food, technically, I guess,” Crumb conceded. “But watching will never be the same. I can’t watch Carla cook knowing I will never stew in her instant pot.” Crumb apologized immediately for saying that.