It’s happening again. Your mom is constructing the world’s longest, most confusing sentence to talk about you without using a ‘they’ pronoun. You’ve traveled home for the holidays, and Lisa, a lovely 60-year-old from next door, spots you and your mother on a walk. She asks how you have been and your mother launches into a proud update on your various accomplishments.
At every Lunar New Year dinner, Mrs. Wong asks everyone at the table, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Like millions of celebrations across the world where adult children are involved, Mrs. Wong’s kids have to endure this question, which has no correct answer.
“You know I’ve always liked her, but I just think it’s kind of nice that she isn’t wearing all those flashy costumes anymore,” local mom Trish MacGibbon reports. “Now it’s just about the singing.”
“He’s on that show your father used to watch?” Mom reports. “He does cookbooks now? Come on, you know who he is! He’s… you know…. I think he’s married to that guy from the Olympics maybe?”