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A 5-Step Guide To Get Krampus To Fuck You
  • December 23, 2020December 18, 2021
  • TC Ramesh

A 5-Step Guide To Get Krampus To Fuck You

This year has been an especially lonely one and it’s felt even more during the holidays. Some are missing physical touch and longing for the warm embrace of a loved one, while others just want an 8-foot tall goat-horned Christmas demon to plow them into yesteryear.

Santa Now Covering Top Surgery
  • December 22, 2020December 22, 2020
  • Loie Plautz

Santa Now Covering Top Surgery

At Christmastime, many trans people young and old wish for safe, affordable, and equitable access to gender-affirming care, but without universal healthcare, it seems like these wishes can’t come true. That’s why Santa has announced he will now be fulfilling wishes for top surgery himself! Talk about trans allyship!

As Holiday Season Ends, Straights Return Mariah Carey To The Gays
  • January 3, 2020August 12, 2022
  • Max Gross

As Holiday Season Ends, Straights Return Mariah Carey To The Gays

Every year, all the heteros REALLY want for Christmas is for Mariah to sing that one fucking song. Mimi, welcome back into the arms of those who truly love understand you, the elusive chanteuse, the skinniest legend.

Man 16 Years Younger Than Boyfriend Forced To Sit At Kids Table
  • December 24, 2019December 25, 2019
  • Denzel Belin

Man 16 Years Younger Than Boyfriend Forced To Sit At Kids Table

“What more do these boomers want from me?” Seymour Tweeted. “I left my clacking fan in the car and even had their weird hot version of an iced coffee.”

Ghost Of Christmas Present: Unfortunate Hometown Grindr Hookup Married Now
  • December 24, 2019December 25, 2019
  • Matt Grote

Ghost Of Christmas Present: Unfortunate Hometown Grindr Hookup Married Now

Kyle was happy to hear Jason was doing well. “I rejected him because of his haircut,” Kyle reminisced. “And he’s happy now and that’s great, and it’s not my fault that I don’t have a boyfriend.”

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