After a record breaking election, a record breaking recount. And in a replay of the election, the recount is dragging its feet as well. Last time, a cocktail of mail-in ballots and legal interference were to blame, but this time: gays trying to do math.
Mail-in ballots in crucial battleground states announced that they didn’t arrive by Election Day because they were at a drag brunch and lost track of time. “We meant to be here so we could help relieve the nation’s stress, but we were having such a good time knocking back bellinis and judging lip sync battles that we got sidetracked,” noted a ballot in Nevada’s Clark County.