At approximately 11:23PM EDT last night, local mother Tina Rogers received a text from her youngest child, 22-year-old Rose, reading: “what time was I born?” Unbeknownst to Rogers, Rose needed the data to get a more accurate astrological birth chart in an attempt to bed a bisexual woman.
Every corner was filled with at least one statue of a nude woman, which Mrs. Dershowitz affectionally petted as we walked by. In fact, the only room that stood out from the rest of the house was Sarah’s room – untouched since her teenage years – which was covered in Justin Bieber posters.