Are you there, Sappho? It’s me, Agnes, the haunted Victorian doll that’s been living in your childhood bedroom rent free since you were four.
Local lonely lesbian Sienna Richardson trimmed her nails again this Thursday, just in case.
Why worry about paying rent, when one could instead worry about the bleak future of their dilapidated estate due to lack of income and marital prospects?
The only woman I can commit to is the topless pinup of Marge Simpson tattooed on the entire length of my forearm. The idea of “forever” is just so daunting.
“Look, I get it. I’m an irrelevant cis white dad,” O’Rourke told reporters. “Which is why I want America to know that I am also a proud lesbian, and I’m ready to lead America.”