“At our wedding he kept asking why two grown men were having a bar mitzvah,” said McConnor’s husband of one year. “Neither of us are Jewish. Or 13.”
“It’s just so complicated,” remarked local father, Jonathan Coates, who understands what such terms as “ADP” and “walk-to-strikeout rate” mean. “Like, ‘they’ is singular now? It just doesn’t seem right. Anyway, some jackass just swiped one of my players. Who do they think they are?”