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REPORT: Americans Feel Buttigieg Someone They Could Grab A Vodka Soda With
  • February 3, 2020February 3, 2020
  • Anthony Schepis

REPORT: Americans Feel Buttigieg Someone They Could Grab A Vodka Soda With

Americans see openly gay Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg as someone they could sit down and grab a frosty vodka soda with. “He’s seems approachable,” said one survey participant. “I just get the vibe he’s not a beer drinker… if you know what I mean.”

Queer Salons See Rise In ‘The Warren’ Haircut
  • January 7, 2020January 29, 2020
  • Keira McGill

Queer Salons See Rise In ‘The Warren’ Haircut

Despite her busy campaign trail, Warren herself gives each haircut. The trend goes to show that all lesbians are politically minded grandmas, but not all politically minded grandmas are lesbians.

Pete Buttigieg Has A Bold VP Pick: His Drag Persona, Judge Judy Booty
  • December 5, 2019December 5, 2019
  • Jess Brontide

Pete Buttigieg Has A Bold VP Pick: His Drag Persona, Judge Judy Booty

After completing copious research on what drag queens are exactly, Mayor Pete has announced his vice president pick for his campaign’s ticket. The Buttigieg 2020 Team later clarified that Judge Judy Booty is “one of those non-dancing, non-singing, slacks-wearing drag queens.”

Trailing In Polls, O’Rourke Adjusts Strategy By Coming Out As Lesbian
  • October 16, 2019February 17, 2020
  • Rachel Garbus

Trailing In Polls, O’Rourke Adjusts Strategy By Coming Out As Lesbian

“Look, I get it. I’m an irrelevant cis white dad,” O’Rourke told reporters. “Which is why I want America to know that I am also a proud lesbian, and I’m ready to lead America.”

Try This Trick To Keep The Cum From Running Off Your Tummy And Into The Primary Race
  • September 13, 2019October 31, 2019
  • Griffin Leeds

Try This Trick To Keep The Cum From Running Off Your Tummy And Into The Primary Race

Of course, condom use would have been the best prevention.

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