After completing copious research on what drag queens are exactly, Mayor Pete has announced his vice president pick for his campaign’s ticket. The Buttigieg 2020 Team later clarified that Judge Judy Booty is “one of those non-dancing, non-singing, slacks-wearing drag queens.”
“In order to stay competitive in the chicken sandwich market, we knew we had to make a change,” said Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy, “and that’s why we’re proud to do the bare minimum for all you perfectly tolerable queers out there. Please buy our food.”
“He belongs to us now,” said Christian T., a self-appointed spokesperson for the LGBTQBY+ community. “Our little prince.”
“It’s not that we don’t love him,” said Luis Grossman, as he scooped Ocean Spray cranberry sauce out of a can. “He can just be a bit heavy in his loafers.”
“I’m so proud that you volunteer your time as a mentor to a very, very large family of 78!” your father reports. “When I was your age I was too busy sleeping around!”