Upon waking, gay men reported feelings of both self-worth and compassion still at levels consitent with well adjusted people. Then everything plummets.
A team of John Hopkins medical researchers brought in a group of lesbians to discuss the orgasm gap—the phenomenon of heterosexual men orgasming 95% of the time compared to heterosexual women’s 65%. However, the participants not only failed to understand the concept, but kept getting distracted by their own climaxing.
With new advancements in filth-detecting technology, this recent research scrounged 500 household bathrooms. Every time the most depraved, disgusting, hard-to-reach cranny was YOUR entire cerebrum, perv!
Gay Lara Barara is the first gay woman to gay win this gay prestigious award by gay combining her two gay passions: gay biophysics and gay microbial bacteria research.
While the study sample was exclusively circuit gays, scientists can still conclusively say they have no fucking idea where Gene went. “Gene told researchers that he loves us but his body is too warm and the music sucks. Then he just bolted,” reported team leader Calvin Tolbin. “We’ve been searching for answers. Gene’s been searching for uppers.”