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Local Vampire Still Less Homophobic Than FDA
  • May 4, 2020May 17, 2020
  • Spencer Meade

Local Vampire Still Less Homophobic Than FDA

After decades of banning men who have sex with men, the FDA revised the lifetime ban to permit donations after three months of abstinence. The desperate attempt to increase blood donations has been met with criticism by many, including the ancient undead.

70 Things He DID Say Before Mentioning He’s In An Exclusive Relationship
  • April 29, 2020May 17, 2020
  • Matt Grote

70 Things He DID Say Before Mentioning He’s In An Exclusive Relationship

We all know the runaround, and we certainly know the bullshit. It seems like everyone has something they aren’t saying on the apps, but here’s 70 things he DID say before mentioning he’s in an exclusive relationship.

Local Man Admitted To Hospital For Drag Race Exhaustion
  • April 25, 2020May 17, 2020
  • Jess Brontide

Local Man Admitted To Hospital For Drag Race Exhaustion

Taylor Fletcher, 23, has been a fan of the show since season 4, when there were fewer than a baker’s dozen contestants and none of them were re-added to the show halfway through. In the beginning, a season of Drag Race was manageable and not life-threatening for most casual viewers.

Lesbians In Focus Group Struggle To Comprehend Orgasm Gap, Invent New Type Of Orgasm Instead
  • April 16, 2020May 17, 2020
  • Rachel Clayton

Lesbians In Focus Group Struggle To Comprehend Orgasm Gap, Invent New Type Of Orgasm Instead

A team of John Hopkins medical researchers brought in a group of lesbians to discuss the orgasm gap—the phenomenon of heterosexual men orgasming 95% of the time compared to heterosexual women’s 65%. However, the participants not only failed to understand the concept, but kept getting distracted by their own climaxing.

REPORT: Carole Baskin One Public Meltdown Away From Gay Icon Status
  • April 9, 2020April 17, 2020
  • Alejandro Morales

REPORT: Carole Baskin One Public Meltdown Away From Gay Icon Status

Step aside Britney! The alpha mama of Big Cat Rescue—and almost certain murderer of HETEROSEXUAL millionaire Don Lewis—is perfectly perched to pounce and snag the gay icon tiara for herself.

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