Hulu made history this week when it released “Happiest Season,” a lesbian Christmas movie starring queer icon Kristen Stewart and directed by Clea Duvall. But in a recent press release, The Hallmark Channel announced that it had actually been set to produce the watershed film – provided that the lesbian characters both died early in the plot.
In a press conference yesterday, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham shared a striking revelation: “God visited me in a dream and told me that as punishment for the homosexuals’ sins, He will torture them mercilessly with virtual Pride celebrations held over Zoom throughout the entire summer.”
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She may lack Jennifer Beal’s exquisite cheekbones, but this local executive is definitely about to rail her married colleague in the airport Marriott.
“Look, I get it. I’m an irrelevant cis white dad,” O’Rourke told reporters. “Which is why I want America to know that I am also a proud lesbian, and I’m ready to lead America.”