It’s just not fair! You’re walking through Murray Hill when all of a sudden, BAM, some Finance Bro walks out of Starbucks with a fatty. Or maybe you’re picnicking in Prospect Park when all of a sudden, a frisbee lands near you. The man that picks up the frisbee is obnoxious…but the ass that walks away…Either Chad is thicc because he shops at Rhone or he played soccer in high school.
Reports poured in across the country of straight people, having endured months of social isolation, abruptly producing spectacular masterworks of fine art.
“It’s not that gay blood is it?!” gasped 50 year old Martin Rogers from his hospital bed. “Ehhhh. Fine, but only if it’s somene like Neil Patrick Harris.”