“I am such a big fan of Kristen, and she’s always supported my work,” reports the Infinity Symbol, “So I felt it was finally time to repay her and get my very own tattoo of the starlet on my inner ring.”
Lady Gaga clinched the all important ‘will support anything gay’ vote this Super Tuesday. She easily filled the gaping hole left by Pete Buttigieg’s sudden exit with her new platform of dancing in neon jumpsuits in the desert.
“You know I’ve always liked her, but I just think it’s kind of nice that she isn’t wearing all those flashy costumes anymore,” local mom Trish MacGibbon reports. “Now it’s just about the singing.”
Every year, all the heteros REALLY want for Christmas is for Mariah to sing that one fucking song. Mimi, welcome back into the arms of those who truly love understand you, the elusive chanteuse, the skinniest legend.
Poultrina’s gobbles lend an air of droll wit about her, just like Carrie. We can’t lose her again!