Lakewood High School junior Abigail Snodie is set to return to the varsity girls’ soccer team next season after recent efforts to bar transgender students from competing in amateur sports failed.
Sources report that AP English teacher Annie Branch has really been laying into all the Christ-like imagery in “The Great Gatsby” while conveniently staying far, far away from all that gay stuff.
“Nick doesn’t like Jordan because she’s shallow,” lectured Ms. Branch, not going anywhere near the idea that Nick doesn’t like Jordan because he likes Gatsby. “Simple as that.”
Graduating senior Pearl Winslow is looking forward to her Ezra Mountain High School Zoom commencement, but says it won’t be the same without the chance to burn some bridges on the way out.