Finding love is hard when you’re a single modern gay man. People are always saying you’ll never find love until you can look inside and see it for yourself. Well I say you’ll never find love until you can look inside and see it in your room. Here’s all the objects I’ve dated in lock down.
It was cute at first, but once he started talking about taking advanced improv classes, I knew I had let it go too far.
“I’m so proud that you volunteer your time as a mentor to a very, very large family of 78!” your father reports. “When I was your age I was too busy sleeping around!”
The only woman I can commit to is the topless pinup of Marge Simpson tattooed on the entire length of my forearm. The idea of “forever” is just so daunting.
“I want to make sure those sinners know that they’re missing out on the Kingdom of Heaven, but also that Rick is missing out on the one that got away.”