Kyle was happy to hear Jason was doing well. “I rejected him because of his haircut,” Kyle reminisced. “And he’s happy now and that’s great, and it’s not my fault that I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I’m so proud that you volunteer your time as a mentor to a very, very large family of 78!” your father reports. “When I was your age I was too busy sleeping around!”
After opposing the traditional military bugle tune, the man kept telling funeral goers, “Follow me on IG because I’m rarely on here.”
“Sorry, but all that gay shit doesn’t really do it for me,” stated Doug Mckenna under the Grindr username “f💦ckmedaddy” at 3:27 AM this past Sunday.
Where are my fellow FOMOsexuals at!?